FARKLE'd to Hell

What would you do, or change,  on a perfectly good, new motorcycle?

Modern motorcycles come with a range of customization options already built in. For example, in addition to adjusting the position of the mirrors and the angle of your handlebars, on nearly any modern touring bike you can make other very useful changes, such as adjusting the seat height and position, or the pre-load on your suspension.

The fact is, that most riders DON'T change these things (especially once they are set), but they DO make other changes to their new bikes, soon after buying them. Mostly this is achieved by adding new parts or accessories. The word "FARKLE" was invented for this and means "Fancy Accessory, Really Kool, Likely Expensive". And that tends to be true for any part actually worth having and is a corruption of "Functional" and "Sparkle" invented at a rally in 1997 by Peter Wells.

So where to start?

1. The first place is to take the bike for a ride and reach the mileage (or kilometer-age) required for the first service. Why? Because the mechanic will do two key things for you - (1) replace all the fluids, thus removing the excess metal filings from gearbox, cylinders and final drive and (2), go over the bike and tighten all the fittings, plus checking for adjustment and alignment. I have now twice found that the yolk bolts on my handlebar were loose after the first ride - it pays to check. I also bought a simple cover for my bike both to keep the dust off, and to keep prying eyes away.
2. Second, set up the ride position. I am exactly 6 feet tall in the old money, and that is about two inches (five centimeters) taller than average, so I tend to lean further forward on the standard setup. I therefore add 40 mm "risers" under the handlebars. These give me a more upright riding position, AND they allow me to ride while standing on the pegs. In actual fact on my current bike, 25 mm would have been enough. My second change was to raise the front of the seat slightly (where there are three options on my bike) and may also try a Beadrider or sheep skin cover. I also changed the brake lever and gear stick lever position to suit my ride - flipping the secondary brake pedal over, and adjusting the gear lever for my boot size.
3. Third, as I ride long distances, I installed a pair of highway pegs. For those who don't understand this term, they are like the boot mounts that are far forward on a Harley. I have tried many types and settled with the premium Ilium pegs that fold backwards or up. I love these. 
4. Fourth, as I have dropped my bike a number of times on the side of the road, when I have stopped for a short break, due to un-even surfaces or sand, I bolted on a wider foot piece to my side stand. There are many options for Touratech, Camel-toe and ADV for example.
5. Fifth, I have added a rack, and currently fitted an "hydration system" (water drinking bag) to the rack, but in time will receive my new panniers and attach these. Panniers are one of the most popular accessories, if the bike does not already come with some fitted. 
6. Lastly, at the handlebar, I have added a powered mount for my mobile phone and a second GPS. To listen to all of this, I have installed a Bluetooth headset to my helmet. Mine is a SENA 20S but there are many options out there. For me, this is essential as I can now hear both my GPS and mobile phone. 

So there is a start. My bike is now ride-able for a good long weekend. But where will we go next? As I am a LDR (Long distance Rider) the next options will include a tool kit, LED lights and a long-range auxiliary tank. 

And for those who don't have them already, (as they are already provided on my particular bike), I would strongly recommend a TPMS (tire pressure monitoring systems), tires to suit your style of riding and cruise control!

Butt Lite VIII - Leg 1 - Fireworks

I am pushing a wide broom across the garage floor and thinking hard - what do I do? And subtext - this place is a mess, but at least its a workshop. A pile of parts, food wrappings, cardboard and cigarette butts has built up in the corner at the insistence of my broom. Now I have room to work on my BMW GSAW bike.

Slowly it dawns on me that it's three minutes past mid-night and now July 4th - Independence Day. I have been awake for twenty hours and I am not happy. Having ridden hard and fast to the East from Denver, my aim was Kansas City MO, where two very juicy bonuses sit, and the start of my "Combo Run" to greatness in this Rally. But a couple of miles before Wichita KS, I stopped for a full load of fuel - 10 gallons which turned out to be laced with water. Within three miles, my bike "fails to proceed" as Rolls Royce would say.

As always happens in these situation, someone stops and you work out a plan. This time a dad with three boys offers to drive home and ask his neighbor, a "bikie" to help. He turns out to be Randy Stephenson a most helpful chap. He leads me to an auto mechanic, Bill who has a partner, Will, who is a bike mechanic. But Will is already well and truly lubed up with his mates for 4th of July. I call Progressive Insurance and they transport the bike to Bill's shop with great care, as the driver is on his first day's work from Kansas City. The last thing I need is for the bike to drop off the flat-tray in the main street of Wichita.

Bill then proceeds to fill the tank with HEET a commercial product which is actually methyl-alcohol and disperses the water inside the petrol. At least that is the theory. We start the bike and it runs really rough and hot, and before long the exhaust is glowing red - then the plastic cover catches fire. I can see my dreams going up in smoke, right there and then. We put it out, by squeezing bottles of drinking water over it. Molten plastic drips onto the concrete floor. I feel it is time to go to a hotel, and Bill takes me to one about 5 miles away, promising to be back at 11am the next morning. I am not too sure this will work out.

For the next twenty four hours, Wichita is beset by loud cars, drunken party goers and lots and lots of fireworks. A man in the street near the hotel is arrested for letting his rockets "go too high". Morning comes and I am furiously working on my laptop to find a way to make up the points I am missing for each minute the wheels are not turning. I come up with some great and detailed plans in 'Garmin "BaseCamp". But Bill does not arrive. Eventually his very young son and girlfriend turn up and open the garage at 1pm. Nothing we do works, because I have still not figured out that there is more water in the gas, than gas. He tells me that everyone at the family party (of four generations) is unable to open a door, let alone drive safely. From the noise I can believe it. I am not going to get professional mechanical help on 4 July.

Day three arrives and I am almost giving up on the rally. A kindly old gent from the local bike club appears at the door and tells me he knows a little about BMW's  - the ones with carburetors. I guess he is at least 85, but he calmly works on the bike with me. Will and a bunch of mates roar into the garage on huge choppers, but they are not in a fit state to help - they just want to talk about the rally and I am counting down minutes. I agree with the Tom to pull the crash frame off, the plugs out and the injectors off the bike - Bill helps by finding tools in the chaos behind us. The plugs are cleaned, the injectors are happily spraying water and gas all over the place, and the oxygen sensor is white from running lean - you don't say!

I tell Bill I am going to empty all of the gas out of the auxiliary tank plus the main tank and ask where he wants me to put it. I pull the quick-release on the auxiliary line. No reply brings a response that I will pour it in the paddock next door and drop a match on it. He thinks this is a bad idea as the local sheriff is parading up and down the street, and comes to the rescue with a pressure thank, usually used for storing used oil. The first bucket comes out mostly water. Ahaha. Tick Tock.

Four and a half buckets later, we are clear of gas and use a pressure hose to get the rest out. It is a serious mess. His son Brad, who turns out to have just turned 16, goes out and gets a new one-gallon gas drum and some fresh gas. He and I are the only people in the whole place who are with it. We put the bike back together and it starts first time, using a battery starter. Thank god for small mercies.

But with everyone talking to me and at me, I am desperate to get the hell out of Dodge. I pay Bill and load the bike and text the Rally van, "back on the road". "Awesome" replies Bart, and I am very pleased that someone is so positive! Roadworks make getting out of Wichita a nightmare, but I am heading down I70 at a rate of knots. With a moving average over 88 mph and minimal stops every four hundred miles for gas, this is a serious race against time - and a huge crowd is watching my SPOT track. Will he make it in time? I make one chosen stop, the AMES bonus, a foolish move as it is down a gravel road, at dusk and takes 25 minutes.

19 hours later, and One hour and 38 minutes into the penalty window, I arrive exhausted in Reno NV. But I Am still in the rally to a tumultuous welcome. Smiles are back, we are in, despite a huge drop in points! The briefing for leg 2 is happening in ten, and I have yet again, been awake 26 hours.

In Anticipation; (of Butt Lite VIII)

There is pleasure to be had in anticipation of a great event.

Tomorrow before dawn, I fly from Canberra to Brisbane, then to LAX and Albuquerque to prepare for the six-day competitive rally called "Butt Lite 8". Essentially it is a Continent-wide scavenger hunt, with no prizes of value, only glory. Frankly, I cannot wait. Here in Canberra (Australia's capital city), the weather is cold, with snow forecast so there is the added attraction of heading to a north American summer - but not the raging heat of Death Valley or Arizona deserts.

This competition runs every second year, alternate to the Iron Butt Rally and starts in Denver CO in 2016. The first Check Point is in Reno NV and as they Rally-Master (in this case actually a Rally Mistress) says - Canada check points are in the book! While the theme is not yet known the fact that we will stop at "Boom Town Casino and Resort" would indicate that we are heading to the ghost towns of the USA - of which there are hundreds, mostly deserted, but up some of the more challenging roads of North America.

At a recent dinner, a long-time friend of my age asked "why do you do it, what is the attraction"? this gave me cause for thought, but it comes down to two stark things;
1. I love riding motorcycles. It is a bit like the pony express - travel the wildest parts of our country, with face and hair in the wind, feeling the acceleration, the exploration of parts unknown and the freedom.
2. To be with friends of a like mind. LDR's (Long Distance Riders) are frankly a weird bunch. They know it and like the moniker. I will catch up with some lifelong friends at the start, middle and end of the rally, tell stories and at the end, share a few beers. I have learnt one thing about this mob - despite the huge variance in their home countries, ages, background, experience and personal history, there is nothing they will not do for a fellow rider. This loyalty, particularly among men, is very rare. (Noting that there are some excellent female riders too, some of which leave the men in their dust on a regular basis, and earn our collective respect no matter what. Aussies would call them "guys" or "blokes" without fear, too).

This year I will do little to my bike. At the start one of the delights is Farkle'ing your bike (If I remember correctly this word stands for "Fancy Accessory, Really Kool, Likely Expensive". But after a few rallies, focus comes down to reducing weight and putting your mind to effective navigation. So, now my effort will go into getting enough sleep before the event, getting my laptop and GPS's up to date and giving a few hugs. See you all in Denver!

PS, most riders use a SPOT device for tracking, so you can follow them from the Team Strange web page (www.teamstrange.com) and also via the BL8 Blog - a daily missive of distracting details, silly stories and practical details.

First Thoughts on Tires (Tyres for the Aussies and Poms)

Tires are a vexed matter for long distance riders. The Michelin Anakees that came on the bike are very sticky but rarely lasted more than 3500 miles for me on the rear. I don't believe I am strong on the wrist, but wear indicates otherwise. 

I then went to Metzler ME880, that I have had a good run with in the past on BMWs. They were ok.

After that, I chose the new Michelin Pilot Road 4's which have been my favorites. There are two models, the "Trail" which is softer in the middle and ideal for the front tire (14,000 miles easy) and the "GT" which is better on the rear, it being a little harder in the center stripe. I have used both on the rear tho, and get about the same number of miles around 6000 to 7000 for a rear. So I used two for IBR.

Right now I have a Heidenau K60 on the rear of my bike. For anything off road it is excellent. Also in hot weather on the hard-top. In November last year, I crashed my bike in very cold conditions with snow on the road, using this tire and believe in part, the tire was to blame, as my counter-steer did not work. For wear they are excellent, a lot better than the PR4's, but you need to know what you are riding. In my view, most people who don't like the K60 are not great riders, but then I might be biased.

I did consider a car tire for the IBR in 2017, and received considerable flack from the forums on even thinking this! But it would be good and unusual on a GSA! 

Accidents and Death from Motorcycling

Frankly, I have no interest in dying - at least not right now.

But, when I ride, I am often asked why I would do such a crazy dangerous thing, as motorcycling? Yes, motorcycling can be dangerous, and you may even get killed as a result, but undertaken the right way, the risk is comparatively low. Seriously, compare it to the popular sports of base jumping, wing gliding, big wave surfing, alpine climbing, deep sea diving - all notably more dangerous than riding motorcycles. Threats to life and limb on motorcycles come in two distinct types -
a) those that the rider has control over, and
b) those that he or she has little control over.

There is an incredible range of statistics on deaths of motorcyclists. Surprisingly most serious accidents happen in the type (a) accidents - those where we have control over ourselves. For example, 45% of serious accidents in the state of Victoria last year, were from riders who were either unlicensed or alcoholic - or both. We have control over these things. Licence tests are there for a good reason - most riders actually learn a thing or two from the process. Secondly, a high preponderance of crashes are "single rider" where he or she were "not in control of their motorcycle" and rode off the road, usually from a corner. Clearly poor skills, tiredness, in-appropriate machinery or sheer speed play a significant role here. In my recent incident (November 7, 2015) where I rode off a corner and onto the road, I was fully to blame - too fast, a dangerous hard new tire fitted and being tired from a very early start in the day. My bad. Get over it. And learn a lesson for next time. Sorry friends and family you also just have to get used to the fact that I tend to ride hard and fast most of the time and therefore my risk goes up. This is what I love to do.

For those who are un-licensed I have little sympathy. Do the course if you want to live. For those who drink, I know full well I cannot stop you. I have a very personal rule (for me) - NEVER ride if I have had more than one beer, even to the corner. After I set myself this very hard rule, it made a very big difference to the way I planned some of my rides.

1. My first suggestion to all riders is this - prepare for the day you have an "off". It WILL happen eventually. One year in Sydney I saw 12 accidents with the Sydney HOG group, in most cases individuals riding off the road. Not one was serious enough to require an ambulance attend. In each case the rider looked a little foolish - and will go home to learn how to counter-steer properly (for example).

2. Wear good gear all the time. When I crashed in November 2015, I was wearing a full armored race suit, gloves, flip-face helmet and armored boots. All were damaged or destroyed completely, but I had no skin abrasions to start. Just a few broken ribs and a hand that have repaired. By comparison, a friend who attended hospital in Rapid City SD during the Sturgis festival, saw over 400 riders in there, with appalling skin abrasions and head injuries, because most Americans don't wear full leather and rarely ride with a helmet. While I respect their decision to do so, and I will fight for their rights here, my personal view is that they are plain stupid. I think it is un-cool not to wear a helmet.

3. Understand that there are a few "objective dangers" where your control over the situation is minimal or nil. Such as when a deer or a kangaroo jumps out in front of you, or a rock or tree falls from the side of the road (which kill riders ever year), or lightning strikes you, or a car comes around a corner on your side of the road, or a bridge or road edge has washed away and is un-marked. Yes, you could travel REALLY slowly and pay much more attention but you cannot always control these events, despite excellent planning and preparation.

3. What is NOT an accident? I have had non-riding friends and spouse give me a hard time when my bike arrives in the garage with a scratched crash bar, or broken clutch lever. Get over it - everyone drops their bike in a parking lot, or on a slightly graveled corner or on the side of the road once in a while. I have literally lost count of the number of times this has happened to me. This is NOT a crash, or a wreck! ( I have twice had to explain to a Sheriff that my bike lying on its side on the median was not an opportunity for him to claim it as a "wreck"!) And that Wonderful riding community always comes to hand and helps lift the bike up - every time. I just love that!

So, strive to stay alive. Do the right thing and wear the right gear. Don't ride when drunk. Understand that riding at night may involve encounters with animals. Then, go and have fun. Besides you could be struck down tomorrow walking across a pedestrian crossing, and wouldn't it be a pity if you had NEVER rode a motorcycle and had that glorious experience!